Memoirs

ASIT CHANDMAL: "Krishnamurti: A memoir"

From the book "From the bookONE THOUSAND SUNS"

Until I was sixteen I was innocent of sex. After that it became a half-understood ecstasy. I went to see Krishnaji in Benares that winter. (…) I was extremely depressed and lonely. I cried a lot. Suddenly the desire to understand sex became very strong. The next day I went to talk to Krishnaji about it. "Thought is the sexual problem," he said. "Listen to desire as you would to a song, or to breeze among the trees." He said, "Don't let sex precipitate you into marriage. If you marry a girl who is not beautiful you won't be happy. You will play around with others." "And if I married someone very beautiful?" "Oh no, that won't you make you happy - she will play around."

(...)

Many years later (in my forties) he said to me, "I am not against sex, it's natural when people are young. But now, Asit, see if you can look at sex differently." "What you mean by that?" I asked. He said, "Don't suppress it. But don't give in to it. And don't run away from it." "Then what to do if I don't suppress it, not turn away from it, not give in to it?" I asked. "Try it", he said, "you will see." I did. I felt the most astonishing energy, a feeling of being totally alive. He said he could see the change in me. He left soon afterward for London. The feeling lasted a week, and I have never been able to recapture it.

 

“ A man who is not afraid is not aggressive, a man who has no sense of fear of any kind is really a free, a peaceful man. „
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